Three dogs, a Jack Russell, an Airedale, and a mastiff, are in the waiting room at the vets.
“I’m pretty sure I’ve had it,” the Jack Russell says morosely. “I got so sick of the damned kids pulling my tail that I gave one of them a nip. She needed four stitches. The mother has brought me here to be put down, I reckon.”
“I’m in the same boat,” says the Airedale. “Bloody kids! One of them couldn’t keep his hands off my ears – Always pulling them out horizontal. Wouldn’t stop it when I gave him a warning growl. In the end I bit his ear off. I’m pretty sure I’m for it too.”
“How do you get on with your people?” the Jack Russell asks the mastiff. “Surely they’d not want to rub you up the wrong way – you’re bigger than most human beings.”
“Well,” the mastiff says, “the couple I’m with don’t have any kids. The woman often does the housework naked. A couple of weeks ago she was scrubbing the floor on all fours. She was so well positioned for it I couldn’t resist giving her one.”
“So you’re for the high jump too,” says the Airedale.
“No,” the Mastiff says. “As it happens I’m here to have my claws clipped.”
